


Local Sheriff, Not-so-local deputies

by Hello_Im_not_a_possum, space_waffles



Series: MMHOPH Age Swap AU [1]
Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: (MM and BC are Kids while Adorabat is an adult), (king snugglemagne is also a kid), Autistic Mao Mao, Gen, Its been almost a monyh and we are crazy, Nonbinary Adorabat, ageswap au, rated T for internal swearing, waffles and I have been going feral over this AU for what feels like a full week now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-11-25 18:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20916440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hello_Im_not_a_possum/pseuds/Hello_Im_not_a_possum, https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_waffles/pseuds/space_waffles
Summary: A sheriff of a peacefully dull kingdom gets a lot more than what they bargained for when two runaway children who seek heroics (and redemption) show up in the Formerly hidden, legendary Pure Heart Valley.





	1. eyes on the skies

It was a perfectly normal and boringly dull day in pure heart valley, the legendary hidden kingdom with a giant magical ruby in the center of the kingdom.

As the Sheriff, Adorabat's job was basically to make sure the citizens don't cause too much trouble, and to pull People out of things they get stuck in. Today as they went on their daily patrol, nothing even slightly interesting happened. There was a few brief exchanges of 'hellos' but nothing else. Not even some problem as mundane as someone stuck in a trash can.

They sighed "Nothing exciting ever happens here..." As they solemnly went back to their patrol.

Meanwhile, not too far off from there, A pair of children are about to bite off way more than they can chew.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_"

Badgerclops, the taller of the two, and who's name suggested, was a badger screamed as he clung to the 'floor' of the Aerocycle for dear life. His mechanical arm gripped so tightly to the gas pedal that it was surprising that it didn't break.

  


"HOW COME YOU NEVER LET ME STEER?" He shouted over the howling wind and roar of the engine

"BECAUSE I LEARNED HOW TO DRIVE THIS THING FROM MY FAMILY, AND _YOU_ LEARNED HOW TO DRIVE FROM A RACING GAME!" Mao Mao, the small black cat shouted back.

It was impossible to tell if he Shouting because he was _angry _or also shouting so that he could be louder then the Aerocycle and the sky. Mainly because he always sounded angry.

"I CAN REACH THE PEDALS AND YOU CAN'T!"

"YOU REACH FOR THEM WITH YOUR ARM! THAT'S CHEATING!"

"CHEATING?! YOU CAN'T 'CHEAT' WHEN YOU DRIVE!"

"WE ARE LANDING! GET THE BREAKS!"

"WE ARE ALSO _NOT _ENDING THIS!"

"SSSHHH!"

The Skyship ahead dwarfed the little Aerocycle. The sinister bow of the ship was decorated to look like a giant fearsome monster, and the hull of the massive beast of a ship seemed like it had more cannons then it did an actual ship! There was only _one_ type of villain known for such a forbidding vessel, that ship was filled with Skyrites...

Other children would flee at the sight of their terrifying ship, But Mao Mao and Badgerclops were Heroes! and a hero doesn't flee from danger, A hero stops the danger from putting other people in danger.

The Aerocycle could be easily parked right on the ship itself, and more importantly, out of sight. Skyrites had their advantages in numbers, skill, age, battle plans, home decor, experience, quantity of weapons, and the fact that they most likely had a proper sense of balance... But what they didn't have was the element of surprise on their side, Badgerclops's technological marvel of a robotic arm, and Mao Mao's legendary blade!

"Egg beater, laser beam, Aha! Grappling hook! Here we go."

_twai-in *clink*_

Badgerclops grabbed Mao Mao and let the hook pull the both of them up.

"You know, this is a really bad idea, Man. Just look around you! We haven't even _seen_ these guys yet and I just know that they're gonna be big enough to crush us to bits then toss our remains out of their ship."

"Is it the plastic laughing skeleton? _pfft._ Any villain who really means it would go for one of those dancing skeletons. These guys will be a breeze."

"Then why not, you know... fight something else?"

_whiiiissss_

"Because once we take them down, our reputation will soar! and I'll be *that* much closer to redeeming myself to my family!"

"Are you having that dream again where your dad isn't terrible, your sisters are actually around, and also you're buff?"

"I told you, he's not terrible!"

"_pffftt_"

"_ssshhhh! there they are..._"

There they were indeed, a large gathering of giant villainous characters that looked like they just left a horror themed weight lifting competition that only allowed the biggest and the strongest bodybuilders to compete in it. A caped figure with the head of a snake (who was rather small in comparison) began to speak.

"Attention you scurvy dogs! ..and other creatures. After _years _of dedicated searching, we finally discovered _the long lost Pure Heart Valley!_ YEAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA!"

The other skyrites present shared their leader's evil laughter.

"Soon! We shall _steal_ the Ruby Pure Heart! and then.. The World!"

"Why does every bad guy wanna take over the world anyway? That's dumb. The world's big and isn't that like, a lot of responsibility?"

"_Badgerclops! shh!_"

"Dude, I'm just saying, if you wanna be evil, at least have your evil make sense!"

"But first, Rolecall! Let's see, uh, Orangusnake? oh! Here, Beefmaster?"

A 'here' that a civilized person would say was not said. Instead, a low beastly growl echoed throughout the ship.

"Thunderfist?"

That guy responded again, not with words, but animalistic grunting. But unlike Beefmaster, this fellow added 'pizzazz' in his rolecall by adding lightning and throwing Bananas.

"_Let's get out of here while we still can. These guys mean Business!_"

Mao Mao sighed. "Maybe you're right-Ah HA!" He lunged at Badgerclops's mechanical arm and started pressing buttons.

"DUDE! NOT COOL!"

"WE. GOTTA. SHOOT. THE. SKYRITES!"

"GET OFFA ME!"

"GIMME THE LASER BEAM!"

"PERSONAL SPACE, MAN! PERSONAL SPACE!"

Their childish bickering had attracted the attention of the skyrites, who were very surprised and somewhat amused to see a pair of ragged, tiny children fighting each other over a chunk of metal.

"Excuse me"

The two ignored the skyrite captain in favor to continue bickering.

"e_hHEAM_! This is sort of a _private _function!"

There was a series of murmuring from most of the pirates before one of them stepped forward.

"Uh, lord Orangusnake? may I speak to you for a moment?"

"..Sure Beefmaster."

"A few of my colleagues and I are not amused by your shown incopitance, the fact that these two _ragged street children_ can so easily sneak aboard your vessel is evidence that you are at best, a someone who does not take being a skyrite seriously and at worst, someone who _thinks_ they take being a skyrite seriously when in reality they're doing nothing more then being a disgrace. WE have reputations to uphold and I think I speak for all of us when I say that it's important to take our roles as skyrites to heart, we do not wish to be a part of your crew."

Mao Mao and Badgerclops were stunned in silence, not expecting the guy who responded to roll call with animalistic growling to say anything like that.

Most of the strongest looking pirates agreed and proceeded to calmly walk out of the ship's main deck area.

"NO! WAIT! DON'T GO! HAVEN'T YOU _SEEN _AN ANIME BEFORE?! THE SMALL CHILDREN HERE AREN'T HELPLESS IN THE SLIGHTEST!"

Orangusnake's face flushed up in anger when he heard one of them chuckle.

Mao Mao took advantage of the situation to press one more button, the laser beam.

"_WWHHOOOAAAAAA_!"

The recoil of the unexpected high powered blast knocked both Mao Mao and Badgerclops back, the laser beam itself tore cleanly through the deck of the ship, some of the walls, and something take was sparking weird and looked important, the said important-looking thing exploded. The formerly uninterested skyrites stared at the pair of intruders who were obviously a lot deadlier than they originally thought.

"SEE! I TOLD YOU! NOW, _GET THEEEEEEM!_"

"_THIS DOES NOT MEAN WE'RE CHANGING OUR MINDS!_"

They charged at the pair who obviously made a run for it while the ship exploded around them. The stupidly designed vessel was starting to crash and fall from the sky.

"_Why would you do that?! They were losing interest in us!_"

"_Exactly! they can't get their butts kicked if they're not interested!_"

"_We are literally running away from them RIGHT NOW!_"

"_NO WE'RE NOT! we're... Strategically retreating!_"

"_Strategically retreating to the Aerocycle?!_"

"_Do you WANT to stay on this crashing ship!?_"

"_Touche_"

The two scrambled towards the Aerocycle and fired it up. Neither one thrilled with the idea of staying on this crashing ship any longer, they took to the skies.

"WOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOO!"

"WE'RE GONNA BE LEGENDS!"

It would've been a clean escape, those meddling kids would've gotten away with it too,

If it wasn't for Thunderfist's lightning powers.

** _CRAAA-BOOOM!_ **

"_THE AEROCYCLE!_"

Luckily for them, instead of falling to the very far away ground and crashing there, they had crashed into a giant rock.

* * *

Explosions _just_ outside the Ruby Pure Heart's Barrier, followed by something cracking the pure heart itself! There was crime afoot, and there was a force of justice who would be thrilled to get to use their smoke bombs again.

The Sheriff excitedly flew from their position to the scene of the crime.


	2. crazy noisy bizarre town

The town square was bursting with commotion today, Scoops just had a marvel of technology fall right through her house and naturally made it the front cover story in the newspaper, Pinky, a rancid fellow who was basically the town's primary source of chaos and dismay recently got a sword that he claimed 'fell from the sky and deserved to be with him' and he was now terrorizing the other sweetie pies with it, and lastly, but most unusually, two people also fell from the sky. Both of them landed in the town fountain.

Sheriff Adorabat's focus was on getting the sword away from Pinky. Even if nobody, including them knew it was a powerful legendary blade, Pinky with a sword means trouble. Some of the other sweetie pies swarmed around these newcomers, buzzing with curiosity about these new mysterious sky people.

"Guh...Ugh..."

Mao Mao woke up to unfamiliar surroundings. He half expected to wake up in a forest or a field, but no, this seemed to be a town. A bright and cheerful looking town that had shadowy, ominously giggling silhouettes hiding from him the second they were spotted. If many long adventures taught him anything, it was that if you see shadowy silhouettes that hide from you as soon as they're spotted and they giggle at you ominously, it means that they're trouble.

The wandering hero jolted up and instinctively reached for his missing blade and stumbled a bit when he realised it wasn't there, gripping the side of the fountain for balance instead of the trusty sword. Quickly glancing around showed that the Aercycle was nowhere to be found, but fortunately Badgerclops was right next to him.

"Badgerclops! wake up!"

"WAH!"

He fell into the fountain, his robotic arm sparking threateningly from the water damage as he pulled himself back out.

"That's not good..."

"It appears we're not alone..."

_They're surrounded with no way to escape, there was no telling what they were up against, and they can't use their weapons, will this be the end of our two heroes? Sources say "no"_

Something tugged on his cape, he spun around and instinctively punched the offender, who effortlessly grabbed his fist.

"Whoa there, bucko! Ya could'a hurt someone with that."

"_What?!_"

Mao Mao was so surprised by the stranger that he practically _squeaked_ the word out. He has seen rabbits before, of both the wild and the people variety. But what he had never seen was one that was bright technicolor orange. Looking around he could see that the other people here also seemed to be brightly colored and _way too comfortable with invading his space_.

Badgerclops on the other hand was relieved, they looked kinda weird but they seemed to be just friendly and curious people. If they were pirates or they had bad intentions, then they would be screwed.

"Mao Mao, I don't think these guys mean any harm..."

"They're friend-shaped!" one of them said.

"_Too bad because I will not be your friend!_"

"Your fur feels so soft!"

"GET OFF ME, DEMON!"

While was slightly better then being ripped to shreds by wild animals, this was not in Mao Mao's comfort zone. In fact, this was the exact opposite of inside Mao Mao's comfort zone.

"Your sparky arm looks really pretty!"

"Oh, thank you!"

"They're both so small and cute!"

"I'm pretty sure we're roughly the same size!"

"These guys smell so good!"

"We have better things to do then to stop here and smell the weirdos! _like look for my sword and the Aerocycle!_"

"Oh yeah. Well, it won't hurt to take a break."

"I made you a pie."

Badgerclops happily took the pie from the nice mouse lady.

"We have to live here now."

"No! we can't redeem ourselves-"

The yellow mouse lady also tried to hand him a pie, he refused. 

"-and become legendary heroes-"

The attempts to hand the pie over intensified, Mao Mao was not amused.

"-if we- STOP THAT!"

He glared at the mouse lady and turned back to his companion.

"-_if we sit around eating pie all day!_"

Badgerclops subtly rolled his eye, something that was really easy to do as it was almost always closed. This was going to lead to another long lecture about heroism, honor, and some dumb third thing wasn't it?

"We have to find a mechanic to fix your arm, my sword, and the aerocycle before the skyrites find us! Because when they do, We're doomed and this whole town would be in danger!"

Oh, wait this was actually important. If the town was in danger from the skyrites, he wouldn't get to eat their food!

"Well, maybe we should ask around? Hey Mouse lady, do you know where to find a mechanic?"

"A mechanic? I think Marion is good with machines, her shop's not too far from here, just take a left and go-"

"_PINKY! PUT THE SWORD ON THE GROUND AND YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!_"

"NEVER!"

"Hey, Mao Mao, isn't that _your_ sword?"

"Wait, really?"

And lo and behold, there was the legendary sword that had been Mao Mao's walking stick/primary weapon/source of light/a lot of other things. wrapped in the grubby little mitts of some pedestrian who didn't understand the power he was wielding.

"HEY! COME BACK HERE! THAT'S NOT YOURS!"

He chased after the already chased menace to society, if his blood was a pot of water, it would be boiling over.

"WAIT FOR ME, DUDE!"

Mao Mao tackled him with ease and wrenched the sword out on his hands.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU COULD'VE DONE IF I DIDN'T STOP YOU?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS IS CAPABLE OF?! IF I DIDN'T- HEY!"

Someone grabbed him by his scruff, Someone in this place was _tall _enough to grab him and lift him by his scruff. Just because instinct made him go limp doesn't mean he enjoyed being held like this.

"ARREST HIM SHERIFF ADORABAT! HE STOLE MY SWORD!"

"_YOUR _SWORD?! THIS IS _MY_ SWORD!"

The sheriff sighed, and gently placed the kid down.

"Pinky, nobody in their right mind would ever give you or sell you a sword and there's never been any swords just lying around in the garbage. Now stop harassing the kids."

"NO! I CAN HARASS KIDS IF I WANT!"

The sheriff intimidatingly loomed over the much-smaller-than-them pink rhino, with all the menacing energy of a powerful and annoyed vampire staring down it's helpless and annoying prey.

"_Pinky, that was **not** a suggestion. Stop. harassing. the. kids._"

"MAKE ME!"

While Adorabat argued with Pinky, Mao Mao stealthily reached for his sword, gesturing to Badgerclops to back away slowly, (which he wisely did) and holding his breath in an attempt to not grab the scary sheriff's attention. He stopped himself from letting out a sigh of relief when he grabbed it. As he pulled his sword away from the tense situation he heard five words that turned his blood into ice.

"And as for you two..."

"BADGERCLOPS! _RUN!_"

Before doing so, he threw a half-eaten pie directly into the sheriff's face to give him and Mao Mao a head start.

"HEY!"

The frightened kitten bolted on all fours with the blade clenched tightly in his teeth, where was the mechanic's shop.. take a left and go-? ...where? she was probably about to say "go straight" so that's where he went next. He had no idea where he was going but at least he wasn't being chased by the sheriff.

"Good idea with the pie Badgerclops! it looks like we lost them!"

...Where was Badgerclops? He could've sworn that he was right behind him. He... he was alone here wasn't he?

"...Badgerclops?"

Mao Mao was _not_ a coward. He was a brave wandering adventurer with many bold exploits and acts of heroism under his belt, but being alone in an unfamiliar area, already stressed out, knowing Badgerclops couldn't defend himself without his arm working properly, knowing the Skyrites (or worse, Sheriff Adorabat) could be right around any corner if he was just the tiniest bit unluckier than he already was today, it was a lot. Particularly because he was still a small child and not the grown-up hero he often pretended to be.

  


If his brain was a stovetop, it was a full stovetop that's been left on and was overboiling. With one backburner going "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" another one going "_Too much, too much, too much, too much-_" on loop, one of the front ones going "Turn back, turn back, find Badgerclops! Where's Badgerclops?! HEROES DON'T LEAVE THEIR FRIENDS BEHIND!" and the final front one going "RUN! RUN! THERE'S SKYRATES BEHIND YOU! THE SHERIFF'S BEHIND YOU! AAAAAAAAAA!"

"Keep it together, k-keep it together. You can't be a hero if you just sit around crying all day!" The words were forced out of him, and as strained as a single thread barely holding together two about-to-collapse buildings. 

He felt someone picking him up by the scruff.

"Gotcha"

And then the floodgates burst.


	3. New clothes, new people, new problems

It is a surprise to nobody reading this to learn that Mao Mao's father is a piece of shit. It's even _less_ of a surprise that his parenting had royally fucked up his tiny feral son and had given him a lot of really unhealthy ways to deal with meltdowns. For example, a good parent who knew what the fuck they were doing would see their child having a meltdown and do everything they can to handle it in a way that minimises the child's distress and embarrassment. Shin Mao's response to meltdowns was to make them even worse by encouraging biting, scratching, and kicking so that anyone who saw the meltdown would see teeth and claws before seeing the tears, thus, not letting his son look 'weak'.

But Sheriff Adorabat is not reading this and they didn't know about Shit Mao's F- parenting. Hell, they didn't even know this kid. From their perspective; two kids fell out of the sky, one of them took the shiny sword that _also _fell out of the sky after tackling Pinky, the other one threw a pie at their face, both of them ran like hell in different directions, most likely because those two were up to no good, they caught the badger as he sprinted right into a dead end, they found the cat and now they were playing hot potato with themselves using a very pointy and bitey brat as the potato.

These kids were definitely hooligans of some sort, and they needed to bring them to justice. ...Probably not 'throw them in the one jail cell that was also in the sheriff's fucking House for some godforsaken reason' but definitely give them a _stern_ talking to in order to intimidate them out of any future troublemaking.

Luckily for Adorabat, the kid's cape was an excellent spot to hold him from to avoid getting sliced by this child's razor-sharp weapons of mass destruction and also his sword. Also luckily for Adorabat, due to years of living in the same town as Pinky, they have lots of experience with flying with angry cargo.

Said angry cargo continued to thrash about, continued to hiss, continued to bite and claw in desperation, but Adorabat noticed some different sounds, something that sounded like sniffling and hiccupping, and while they couldn't see tears, they could smell them. Oh no. They went too far again didn't they? They might be a tough cookie to crumble, and their heart wasn't always in the right place 100% of the time, but there was no such thing as a heartless sweetie pie.

"...Are you crying, kiddo?"

"WhaT?! N-NO I'M NOT!"

The crack in the cat's voice and his paws quickly rubbing the tear stains out of his fur told a different story to them.

"If it makes you feel any better-"

"_I DON'T **WANT** YOUR PITY AND I DON'T **NEED** IT EITHER!_"

"Fine."

Whelp, they tried.

After that, the flight back to headquarters was mostly done in silence. Not including the sounds of Mao Mao's hissing and useless struggling.

* * *

Badgerclops anxiously munched on some of the snacks that he may-or-may-not have stolen from the sheriff's kitchen as he paced the around the rooms of the surprisingly homey headquarters of the sheriff's department. Judging by their initial introduction and their swift and ruthless capture of him, he kinda expected them to live in some kind of terrifying mashup of a torture chamber, a prison, a haunted house, and a dojo. But no, it was more like if someone took a cozy house that he'd expect one of the friendlier inhabitants of this strange town to live in and put a dojo and a single jail cell in it. And bombs, a lot of bombs of various types and kinds.

But other then the bombs, it was a welcoming albeit lonely house. Even the interrogation room and the Jail cell didn't look too threatening! ...Something told him that that would change when Adorabat was present.

Even so, no amount of unexpected welcomingness of a house could erase the fact that he was worried out of his mind for both himself and Mao Mao! If Adorabat returns without Mao Mao, what would they do to him? Would they torture him with bombs to get him to tell them where Mao Mao was? If Adorabat finds Mao Mao would they fight? If Adorabat wins, what would they do to him? Could Mao Mao find him if he defeated them? Judging by what he could see out the windows, it would be miles and miles to get here! Which was partly why he didn't try to escape yet, too many stairs, and he couldn't use his arm for 'fast travel' when it was still soaked and broken.

Wait a minute, Rice! maybe if he put his arm in rice, it would absorb enough of the water to make it safe to use again! he could escape, find Mao Mao, the two of them could find the Aerocycle, and hopefully never come back to this place ever again.

Maybe the sheriff had rice in the kitchen somewhere? Sure he didn't find any the first few times he's gone in there but he also wasn't exactly looking for rice at the time. He went back in to look, and if he 'happened' to find more snacks he wouldn't let them go to waste.

"lets see... flour, sugar, baking soda, bread, cheese puffs that are mine now, canned food, baking powder..."

"...Why don't they have any rice? I need to get out of here before-"

His heartbeat either sped beyond measure with fear or stopped altogether when he heard the sound of the front door opening. He hid in the cupboard behind several cans, then he listened and waited in anticipation. And, because he was a stress eater, nervously munched his cheese puffs in mostly silent terror.

The door closed behind them and it sounded like they were talking to somebody.

"We're at the HQ now. I'm going to put you on the ground on the count of 'three'. Ready?"

"Hmpth!"

"One, two, two-and-a-quarter, two-and-a-half-"

"Hey! Just lemme down already!"

That voice, did Adorabat catch Mao Mao? Their voice sounded slightly friendlier and a bit more joking, maybe they got their morning coffee in between catching him and Mao Mao? Some adults were really scary without the stuff.

"two-and-a-half-plus-one-quarter-which-makes-us-closer-to-the-designated-counting-number..."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"four."

"_YOU SKIPPED THREE!_"

"okay, okay. 'three'."

Badgerclops heard a soft 'thunk' followed by the familiar sound of someone dashing on all fours, and then tripping over something. Yep, that was Mao Mao all right, Adorabat caught him. This was either a great thing or the worst thing ever.

"_SHOOT!_"

"_Oh son of a bit- ...son of a butt._"

Adorabat opened the cupboard and moved several cans out of the way, Badgerclops moved the flour bag in front of him. Adorabat was not amused and moved the flour out of the way.

"really?"

"...Do you happen to have any rice?"

"Do you happen to know why my floors are covered in empty chip bags and girl scout cookie boxes?"

"Apparently, you had chips and girl scout cookies."

"_You caught Badgerclops too?!_"

* * *

The interrogation room looked kinda how Mao Mao imagined it to look but also not really.

The chairs were not tall enough for Badgerclops to clearly see the table, let alone Mao Mao who had to stand on his chair and his tip-toes to just barely see the tabletop, Adorabat also had trouble seeing the tabletop. Why did they get such a comedically tall table? they were one of the tallest people in Pure Heart valley, but they were still short. What a pleasant surprise to be wrong about the interrogation room being scarier with Adorabat in it! with the ridiculous table in the way, they didn't seem that scary anymore!

But then, they handed them a newspaper with a picture of their Aerocycle on the front page.

【Ｉｎｔｅｒｒｏｇａｔｉｏｎ， ｓｔａｒｔ！】

"This morning, our local reporter had a giant flying motorcycle with a duck sticker on it's left side fall through her house. Shortly before that, multiple explosions outside the Ruby Pure Heart's barrier were heard by several civilians. And now, you two have fallen into the town square..."

"_Psst, Mao Mao, what's a motorcycle?_"

"_I think that's what these people call an 'Aerocycle.'_"

Adorabat wrote 'Aerocycle' down on their notepad.

"So you know what it is..."

Badgerclops gulped, was that a bad thing? a good thing? were they witnesses or suspects?

"Will you excuse us for a moment?"

"you have two minutes."

The pair quickly rushed out of the room.

"Dude, I'm scared! Are we going to jail?!"

"Just let me do the talking, I know types like them and I won't crack under their pressure."

"okay. take the floor, man."

they re-entered the room, slightly more prepared then how they would've been without that 15 second pep talk.

"we're ready."

"Judging by observation at the scene of the crash, the vehicle is small enough to comfortably fit only two passengers, Judging by the fact you two know what it is, it fell out of the sky, and you fell out of the sky too, you probably owned it, am I correct?"

"yes.."

"So, were there only two people riding it at the time?"

"yes, and before you ask, we were also wearing helmets."

They scribbled down 'owned the aerocycle, only two passengers, lost helmets? were wearing helmets at the time'.

"So, keeping our story clear, you two fell out of the sky on the Aerocycle, and were the only passengers."

"That's right."

"Were there any other 'Aerocycles' nearby? With Passengers that you knew?"

"nope."

"just you two?"

"...Yes..."

"Then where are your parents?"

Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck FUck Fuck _Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck FUUUCK. We are so fucking fucked._

If the pair of heroes knew what the word 'fuck' was yet, then the expression above would be going through their heads, but for now, "☝ⓧ☞👇!" on repeat had to do. Mao Mao couldn't tell Adorabat the truth, that Badgerclops's folks were most likely wanted criminals (or at the very least, abusive), that after dishonoring his clan he ran away to seek redemption by becoming a legendary hero, they wouldn't understand! none of the adults he met ever did...

"THEY'RE DEAD!"

Badgerclops blurted out, which earned him a sharp elbow to the stomach from Mao Mao.

"OW! why did you-"

"SHHH!"

"I'm sorry, they're what?"

Mao Mao was internally screaming, now he had to keep up the charade or get in trouble for lying.

"Yes, they're... dead."

"What about a legal guardian?"

"No."

"What about-"

"THERE'S NOBODY LOOKING FOR US AND NOBODY WAITING FOR US AT HOME!"

Mao Mao snapped, then covered his mouth with his paws. What he said was _slightly _true, but also not.

"-an orphanage?"

"No, We've been living on the streets and in the wilderness for- OW! dude! did you just bite me?!"

"_Just because it's true, doesn't mean they need to know!_"

"Oh God! I am so sorry..."

There was a few moments of silence, the type of short moments that feel like hours when they're actually minutes.

Adorabat's notepad now contained the following phrases: 'No parents, no guardians, no home? is Aerocycle their home? are they homeless? Smaller kid has a biting problem. "Nobody looking for us" + "Nobody waiting for us"?'

【Ｉｎｔｅｒｒｉｇａｔｉｏｎ， ｉｎｔｅｒｒｕｐｔｅｄ】

The door swung open, a frightened looking lion cub was in it's frame. His fancy purple cloak, fancy pants, and gold crown suggested that he either was royalty, or was rich enough to dress like it.

"_S-SHERIFF ADORABAT! THE KINGDOM'S IN PERIL! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!_"

"What's wrong your highness?"

"THE SKYRITES?!"

"WHAT ARE SKYRITES?!"

"EVERYBODY **_CALM DOWN!_**"

The regal cub recollected himself, and noticed that there were two other people in the room, people that he had never seen before. _People from the outside world, rumored to have been completely destroyed by the hoards of ravenous monsters long ago. _And their fashion sense was absolutely terrible.

"King Snugglemagne, what is the threat to the kingdom?"

"Well, I think that it's best if you see for yourself, come with me, all three of you."

"So _that's_ how you caught us so fast!"

Badgerclops exclaimed when the child king opened a secret passageway underneath the couch.

"Nah, I'm just a really fast flyer. Also, I know this kingdom like the back of my wings."

"Well don't just lollygag over there! the palace awaits us!"

"_oh fu- ...fudge_"

Adorabat subcounsciously brushed their wing against their prosthetic leg.

The palace. There was a crisis, and it was at the palace. From past experiences, they knew that whenever there was a crisis at the palace, especially one that doomed the rest of the kingdom, ...it was a far less than stellar time for everyone.

* * *

"It's, It's not on fire..."

"Were you expecting it to be?"

"No, but even that would be better then..."

The palace was indeed not on fire, it was also not destroyed, or blown up, or had any other noticeable tragedy happen to it. To someone who's never been there before, (like Mao Mao and Badgerclops) the palace looked just like a perfectly normal palace would. But to sweetie pies, who have lived here their whole lives, (like Adorabat and Snugglemagne) there was something wrong, something that would turn the entire kingdom into an all you-can-eat monster buffet.

"The ruby pure heart... How?"

"Yes, it is indeed a disaster, and speaking of disasters..."

King Snugglemagne turned to face Mao Mao and Badgerclops.

"why on earth did you decide to waltz into my kingdom while wearing those hideous rags?"

"wait, what?"

Instead of playing babysitter for the king and two hobo children, Adorabat examined the damage on the Ruby Pure Heart, trying to figure out what could've happened to it. Meanwhile King Snugglemagne proposed giving the new arrivals new clothes, which Badgerclops agreed to on the grounds that someone would also fix his arm, and Mao Mao flat out refused. Snugglemagne _insisted_ that he get new clothes as his old ones were 'all nasty' this soon spiraled into full on roughhousing and Mao Mao learned that the lion cub was a lot stronger then he looked as the two kids wrestled each other for Mao Mao's cape while some poor guard had to chase them around the castle.

_CRASH_

"LEGGO! IT'S NOT YOUR CAPE!"

_THUNK_

"YOU BRUTISH KNAVE! THE CAPE IS ALL TORN UP! IT'S PRACTICALLY USELESS!"

_CLANG_

"YOUR HIGHNESS, PLEASE LET HIM GO! HE'S TEARING UP YOUR OWN ROYAL ROBES!"

\---

In the next room, Badgerclops was calmly getting his arm repaired and making small talk with the mechanic while he waited for the tailor to return with his new clothes. 

"So, Marion, how long have you worked with prosthetics?"

She looked up from her work to answer Badgerclops's question.

"This is pretty new, but a machine's a machine and I've never met a machine I couldn't handle! It mostly seems to have some water damage and a lot of gunk in it, so it won't be too much trouble."

"Yeah, Mao Mao and I haven't had a good chance to clean it out in a while..."

\---

"UNHAND THE ROYAL CROWN, YOU WRETCH!"

"UNHAND MY SWORD, YOU COTTON-CANDY COLORED CLOWN!"

"MY LIEGE, PLEASE! THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND! EITHER ONE OR BOTH OF YOU TWO COULD GET HURT!"

_SHRRI-I-I-I-IP!_

The pair's fight had led to Mao Mao's sash getting torn clean of his body, revealing a large ugly scar on his stomach. He had other scars too, he was an adventurer who had been in many battles after all! but those other scars were easily hidden by his fur. This scar was a monster of a scar. It was a wide and deep horizontal cut that looked like it might caused his death if he was just the tiniest bit unluckier, it also looked like it had been infected in the past. Either it took all of Snugglemagne's willpower not to scream, gag, and retch when he saw it, or seeing it made him physically freeze in terror. Snugglemagne wanted to look away from it, but he couldn't.

Mao Mao covered himself up with the chunk of Snugglemagne's robe that he ripped off.

"W-What in the heaven's name is that _horrible_ mark?!"

"_It's none of your business!_"

Mao Mao spat as he clutched the fancy fabric closed to his body while the guard quietly dismissed himself to fetch the royal magical technician (the closest thing they had to a doctor at the moment).

\---

"Mao Mao, is that the angry small guy?"

"Yeah, but don't call him that to his face! he's really sensitive about his height..."

"Oh! sorry! I didn't know that."

"at least you didn't learn the hard way."

"So, How long have you two known each other?"

Badgerclops shrugged

"I dunno, I guess we've always known each other."

"Okay, the hardware seems to be fine now... How does it feel."

Badgerclops flexed his fingers on his mechanical arm, then tried turning it into different things with Marion staring in surprise. A net launcher, a helicopter blade, a chainsaw, a laser pointer, a frying pan, something that looked like a plasma sword, a mace, an umbrella, and lastly his own arm.

"It's all good!" he gave Marion a thumbs up.

"Wow, that machine's a lot more complex than I thought it was..."

A bird sweetie pie with a fancy ruffled collar and something in his wings entered the room.

"Master Badgerclops, the Clothes courtesy of King Snugglemagne the 25th have arrived."

He put on the brand new bandolier, it looked and felt like a brand new version of his old one except for the clasps on the pockets.

"You guys are huge fans of the heart motif..."

\---

King Snugglemagne had thankfully left Mao Mao alone to have his servants deal with him. They had better luck with him then the young king did, managing to get him to cooperate with them as they pointed out that the new clothes would do a better job at hiding the scar. (they did not see it, but the young king, who looked like he saw a ghost told them about its existence) Mao Mao had the new clothes that the king fought him over, and he sat in the chair cross-armed with a sour expression on his face.

"Are the new clothes not to your liking Master Mao Mao?"

"THEY'RE EXACTLY THE SAME AS MY OLD CLOTHES! THE ONLY REAL DIFFERENCE IS THIS STUPID HEART BUTTON!"

"They're a lot less 'ragged' then your old ones. Are they not, Master Mao Mao?"

"_Hmph!_"

"Well, I do believe that Miss Marion has finished repairing Master Badgerclops's arm."

"I'm going to find him."

"Very well, Master Mao Mao, and good luck with the adventuring."

\---

"My liege, I've inspected the damage. There's no sign of an explosion, it appears that the damage was caused by blunt force."

"Like something big flying into it?"

"it seems so."

"Oh dear, without the ruby pure heart's cloaking powers we're completely defenceless!"

"No worries my liege, I'm sure I'll have anything that dares threaten our kingdom begging for mercy if it tries anything."

"Thank you Sheriff, but how did this happen in the first place? what could've done such a thing?"

"..."

"Something on your mind sheriff Adorabat?"

"Oh! ...It's nothing my liege."

Adorabat wrote down a new note. 'Mao Mao + Badgerclops + Aerocycle + Pure Heart = Doomed?'

"Oh no." Mao Mao thought as he overheard Snugglemagne and Adorabat talking to each other. He didn't see the heart, but he saw the damage on the Aerocycle in the picture, there was a chunk of pink rock in the headlights. _He broke the Ruby Pure Heart. _That sheriff's probably never seen a monster before in their life, they wouldn't know what to do if one attacked! If he leaves, he leaves these people in danger!


	4. Home is where the Pure Heart is

This was a nightmare! How could he possibly get his honor back after committing such a terrible crime? What would his family think of him if they knew that he'd done this? He had to stay here, in this candy-colored disaster place that was full of overly chipper weirdos! If he leaves these people in danger he would be no better than the villains he was supposed to defeat. But how could he become a legendary hero now? and was he going to break this to Badgerclops? That their days of being a pair of heroic adventurers traveling the world, making a name for themselves and seeking redemption for their unspeakable past crimes were over?

"Hey, have you seen Mao Mao? I'm pretty sure he wants to leave soon."

"Master Mao Mao is right over there, in the next room, Master Badgerclops."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks, Man!"

"Anytime, Master Badgerclops."

While they couldn't leave, staying also didn't seem to have any "pros". Sure he didn't have a choice in the matter, he'd have to stay here anyway but when he had to, the skyrites' trail would go cold and they could wreak havoc on thousands of innocent people because they weren't stopped, he and Badgerclops would be sitting ducks for ...whoever or whatever it was that always seemed to be following them ever since the pair first became a team, if he was stationary then his family might catch wind of his current location before he redeemed himself! and if that happened, his father might _finish the job._.. and what's worse? He would never, EVER become a legendary hero now! all of his past adventures, monsters slain, bad guys thrown in jail, good guys saved, all of it was for nothing! He'd be seen as some stupid guardian of a never-heard-of town full of nut jobs at best and a malicious magical-protection-barrier-breaking villain at worst!

"Mao Mao?"

He'd be the laughing stock of his clan after he died! or the greatest shame it's ever known! or b-

"Dude, Dude, hey, snap out of it."

"Huh?!"

"Mao Mao, are you okay? You've been staring into space like that for... like the past five minutes."

"Badgerclops! this is a disaster! We can't leave!"

"Why? did we get arrested?"

"No, worse! I broke the stupid Ruby Pure Heart! We have to stay here so that we can save their butts from monsters when they show up!"

"Wait, really?"

"Yes! because a hero does what's right! even when it crushes them inside..."

"So no more aimlessly roaming the world in search of adventure?"

Mao Mao solemnly nodded.

"No more living on the lam, no more sleeping in the cold wilderness while huddling together trying not to freeze to death, no more having to eat kill, skin, gut, and cook wild animals, giant bugs, and monsters to survive, no more pushing the Aerocycle literal miles because it ran outta gas in the middle of nowhere, no more going hungry because our food supply got either destroyed or stolen, and no more spending every night barely sleeping while desperately trying not to be found by *ahem* _Them_?"

He nodded again, less solemnly this time.

"Cool!"

"What?! 'Cool'?! none of this is cool!"

Badgerclops shrugged

"Well, if they know that we did it then yeah, it's not cool. But if they don't and we're only staying here outta moral obligations and guilt then it's kinda cool. The people here are really nice, the food's great, and if we're lucky, maybe we can convince somebody to let us stay at their place so we don't have to sleep on the Aerocycle or eat out of the garbage anymore!"

He then remembered that He'd eat food out of the garbage anyway if it was there, regardless of having access to non-literal trash food and that Mao Mao would probably still sleep on the Aerocycle out of guilt, or because it was a warm machine that vibrates when it was turned on.

"Okay, we'd probably still do that. But those aren't our only choices anymore! we have options now instead of the usual 'do this or die'! We can enjoy this."

"Badgerclops, this is serious! an entire kingdom is doomed!"

\---

Speaking of the kingdom being doomed, Lord Orangusnake sailed his sky ship in high spirits. While he was still very upset when most of his crew had left him the first chance they got, and by most, what was really meant almost all of it. Only three people stayed on his crew: Ramaraffe, Boss Hosstrich, and Ratarang. While he admired their loyalty and their willingness to fight small children, they lacked the physical strength and the intimidation factor that he coveted in henchmen.

But he didn't need those fake, beefcake, cardboard cutouts to reach his goal! He had his ship, his _real_ crew, his suction-cup grabbers, his weaponry, and in spite of those brats attempting to stop him, they had led him right to his ultimate goal! He laughed evilly as he could already taste victory as he steered towards the now-revealed treasure he's spent countless years trying to find: the Ruby Pure Heart.

He fired the suction cups.

"AT LAST! THE RUBY PURE HEART IS MINE!"

\---

In the drop of a hat, the castle was in chaos.

Servants and other civilians in the castle were screaming and trying to run away, guards were trying to calmly evacuate the palace but to no avail, furniture was broken, walls were vandalized, and there was a witch cackling maniacally in the distance.

"M-MASTER MAO MAO! MASTER BADGERCLOPS! THE CASTLE IS UNDER ATTACK FROM ROUGEISH FIENDS! THE RUFFIANS ARE TRYING TO STEAL THE RUBY PURE HEART! I MUCH ADVISE EVACUATING AS SWIFTLY AS POSSIBLE!"

There was only one group of villains who were diabolical enough to do such a thing and were close enough to do it.

"The Skyrites..."

Mao Mao whistled, and the Aerocycle came at his call as if it was a dog answering it's owner's "here boy!". It was still damaged, but thankfully still working well enough to hear him from miles away and still be able to fly.

"You ready to kick some skyrite butt?!"

"Aye aye, captain!"

They were just about to fly the Aerocycle off before getting stopped by Adorabat.

"Woah, woah, woah! what do you two think you're doing?"

"We're going to take down their ship!"

"Look, it's great that you want to help and fight these clowns. but those clowns do mean business! I don't want you two to get into any more trouble okay."

"..okay."

"good, I'll be back soon, don't worry about it."

\---

"YEAHHAHAHAHAHHA! IT'S MINE! THE RUBY PURE HEART IS ALL MINE!"

The heart was *this* close to being his, nothing could sour his mood now, not even that bright blue speck flying towards his ship! Or that greenish speck behind the blue speck!

"YOU SKYRITE SCUM! UNHAND THE RUBY PURE HEART AND SURRENDER NOW OR-"

"OOOOO, I'M SO SCARED, IF ONLY I HAD SOMETHING TO BLAST YOU OUT OF THE SKY WITH!"

The main cannon on his ship charged and fired right at it's target, Adorabat dove down to avoid the blast. The other cannons fired at them, taking advantage of the wind currents, and firing at them from all directions but before they of the shots could hit them, another cannon fire cleared a path for them to fly through. Adorabat heard the roar of an engine behind them.

"Mao Mao! Badgerclops! you saved me! DIDN'T I TELL YOU TWO TO STAY OUT OF THIS?!"

The disobedient pair did not respond further than Badgerclops blowing them a raspberry then flooring the gas pedal.

Adorabat threw small bombs all over the deck as if they were throwing confetti, some of them blew the second they hit the floor, others didn't quite blow yet. Ratarang scared himself into his boomerang form.

"BOSS! THOSE TWO STOWAWAYS ARE BACK! THEY LANDED THEIR BIKE ON THE PORT SIDE!"

"THEN GET THEM YOU FOOLS!"

"BUT THERE'S BOMBS EVERYWHERE!"

A few of them exploded, emphasising the worried skyrite's point.

"_YOU_ HAVE A CANNON BUILT INTO YOUR CHEST! AND _YOUR_ NECK CAN STRETCH FOR MILES!"

Badgerclops fired his own arm cannon at Boss Hosstrich, who fired back, leading to the pair engaging in a gunfight. Ramaraffe menovered her away across the sea of bombs and tried to headbutt Adorabat, who flew out of the way, it then became a race of Ramaraffe's neck vs. Adorabat's wings. Mao Mao took a fighting stance against Orangusnake, ready to hit him with everything he's got.

"It looks like it's just you and me now..."

"_PFFFFT HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! _Are you serious?! You're so small I could crush you to a fine paste in the palm of my hand!"

"_I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS!_"

Mao Mao charged at him with his blade drawn, Orangusnake saw it coming and parried the kitten's blade with his own shapeshifting weapon. More bombs exploded behind them, Orangusnake leaped in the air and slammed his fist down onto his opponent as hard as he could, only to hit the ground because Mao Mao jumped out of the way. When Orangusnake swiped his blade at Mao Mao again, he parried the purple weapon right out of his hand! Ratarang, still in his boomerang form, did his best to secretly get his Captain's attention.

"Psst, hey Boss! throw me at him! he'll never see it coming!"

Orangusnake did just that, only to have Mao Mao dodge the attack. Orangusnake struck again, this time by throwing an entire weapons' rack, along with the rack itself at the pesky brat, which he also dodged. He would be really good at dodgeball. Even More bombs exploded in the background, there was so many of them that they might as well be pebbles among gravel.

"You're a lot stronger than you look, I'll give you that. But nothing will stop me from claiming the legendary Ruby Pure Heart for my own!"

"_Legendary?_"

Orangusnake scooped up some of the bombs and tried to throw them at Mao Mao, who defected them with his sword, while Mao Mao was busy with that, Orangusnake lunged for his weapon and charged right back at him.

"Once the legendary prize of the legendary Pure Heart valley is mine, I'll become a truly legendary and unstoppable skyrite!"

"Pure heart valley?_ Legendary?!_"

"You're saying this place is legendary!?"

"Oh yeah! it's super legendary! You didn't know that? I thought that was why you showed up!"

"Yeah, well, I knew that but my first impression of the place itself made it seem anything but 'legendary'. But hypothetically speaking if someone was let's say, the savior and protector of this legendary place, that person could become legendary too?!"

"Well I suppose so, It's kinda a no-brainer isn't it?"

"_Hot DOG!_"

This wasn't a nightmare! it was a dream come true! Before coming to this place, He and Badgerclops were just wandering aimlessly without any clue on what to do. But now, now there was a visible path to redemption! a chance to become a legend! He'd earn his honor back and become the pride of his clan instead of the biggest disgrace it's ever seen! His dad would love him for this! His sisters might stay around more often!

"...I don't know what's happening here but it seems, sad."

Said the man who was fighting a tiny kitten that could fit in his hand, and was losing.

"Sad? HA! I'm gonna be a LEGEND!"

Mao Mao struck the finishing blows against his opponent, letting Orangusnake fall to the ground, a quick look-around showed that the other skyrites were also taken care of. Adorabat called out to him and Badgerclops

"Hey boys! how fast can you two run?"

"You saw us run! I'm not very fast but Mao Mao is!"

"Well, you've got a 10 second head start, I'm blowing this joint!"

They meant that literally, even having the bomb to do with with and seeing where the engine was.

"Got it!"

The second they saw the Aerocycle take off was the second they threw the fire in the hole, then they followed suit. The ship was practically a fireworks display by the time they had left it, and it was a fireworks display that crashed into the nearby forest, with a blast that was bigger then what any of their bombs could ever hope to produce.

"_WE'RE OKAY_!"

The skyrites called out after the ship hit the ground.

\---

Back in the valley, the citizens cheered. The skyrites were defeated! The Ruby Pure Heart was cracked but everything was going to be okay! The sheriff and the newcomers stopped the threat!

"One for you,"

King Snugglemagne put a medal of honor around Mao Mao's neck, it looked like a smaller version of the ruby pure heart.

"And one for you,"

Adorabat had to bow very deeply for the young king to get the medal around their neck.

"And one, for me."

Snugglemagne put the third medal around his neck while Badgerclops gave him a look of annoyance. Just because his arms were full of baked goods doesn't mean he didn't want a medal too.

"To thank these legendary heroes, I, King Snugglemagne the 25th hereby elect Mao Mao as the newest addition to the sheriff's department of our beloved Pure Heart Valley!"

The sweetie pies cheered.

"NOW THERE'S NO TIME TO WASTE EVERYONE! THERE'S A WELCOMING PARTY THAT NEEDS TO BE THROWN!"

Then they scattered, excitedly preparing for what was to come.

"Well, I guess this is it."

"Home sweet home."

Adorabat flipped through their notebook until they reached the page with the 'doomed' equation, they crossed out 'doomed' scribbled over it 'new teammates'. While nobody knew what the future had in store for them, they knew that it was going to be great.


End file.
